For dinner tonight that I’m serving to four friends (it was originally three), I was short one pork chop. I already had four beautiful double-thick chops that I bought over the weekend at the Spring Brook Farms store in Cumberland.

For my fifth chop, I went to Pat’s market, which is closed on Mondays. I didn’t want to hassle with Hannaford’s so I went to the Forbes Meat Market at the Public Market. I asked for one double pork chop from the loin.

I’m stuffing the chops, and a double thick one is best.

Forbes didn’t have any chops on display, but the butcher had a whole loin in the back and cut me one double chop.

I then went to Scales for a quick lunch at the counter, pork chop in tow. I ordered the oyster stew, which was fantastic. In fact, the menu of daily specials is getting really extensive. Offerings like Maine shrimp over angel hair pasta, marinated blue fish with wilted spinach, pan seared swordfish, hamburger with onions and Dijon made from freshly ground meat from Forbes are all under $10, a veritable bargain when you consider that you’re getting Fore Street quality cooking at a discount.

I left the market, drove over to Joseph’s to pick up a pair of pants that had been altered and drove home. I’d say the entire outing took about 45 minutes. As I was driving home from the Old Port I detected a really foul smell in my car, as bad as rotten fish. At first I thought I had stepped in something but found nothing. I put the car in the garage, and the stench was growing worse. I better get this garage cleaned out soon, I thought.

By the time I got into the house, the rotten smell was overwhelming. I took the pork out of the bag. There it was: the foulest smelling chop in Cumberland County.

I called up Forbes to tell them. Of course they offered to give me another chop, but I was more concerned that they not sell from this loin because it was obviously tainted.

I began to think, why hadn’t it smelled when I bought the chop? The butcher had brought out the entire loin, asking from which part I would like my chop cut. I hadn’t detected any odor.

I then called up my friend Evalin Stearns, who is about the best cook and caterer in Portland and something of a food-science expert.

She surmised that the pork hadn’t smelled because it was still cold, and once it began to warm up the bacteria bloomed.

I then called Forbes back to reiterate my concerns. Namely, that they must not sell any more of that pork and that all their surfaces and equipment should be cleaned.

The butcher said that after my first call he was quite concerned. He inspected the loin, let it sit at room temperature for a while, and it smelled perfectly fresh and fine.

What happened to my lonely chop? Did it need a mate? I don’t get it.

Now, of course, I have to go out and find another pork chop. I’ll have to go to Hannaford’s after all.

Twenty-five minutes later.

I’ve just come back from Hannaford’s.

Let me warn you now. Monday in Maine is not the day to buy pork chops. At Hannaford’s I was informed that I couldn’t get a custom-cut chop because the whole porks have just arrived, still frozen, and that’s that.

I went to Wild Oats who said the same thing.

This is ridiculous.

How am I going to serve four pork chops to five people?

I bought one ½ inch thick pork chop, the thickest available, from the meat case at Wild Oats. I guess that one will be mine.

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